Pro Mermaid Hunter

Pleasure in Leather ;)

2012-02-26T08:30:00.000-08:00

Perfect Woman

2012-02-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

Seriously... I love guests fantasies, they make my day! This one, for instance...

I have a very vivid mental image of a woman with an ass between her tits... the image I could do without, to be honest ;)

For Heels Lovers

2012-02-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

Check out new pictures on CC!

Benefits of Yoga

2012-02-20T05:26:00.002-08:00

LOL of the Day

2012-02-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

Well my "real f*ck" price has just been estimated! Not sure how though...

Sorry... the only real f*ck I am able to offer it a f*ck off ;)

More Sexy Pin-Up

2012-02-15T06:58:00.000-08:00

Looking Forward to Spring...

2012-02-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

... and adding some new pics, you know where to look ;)

Happy Holiday!

2012-02-12T03:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Weekend!

2012-02-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Grrrrr

2012-01-30T22:36:00.000-08:00

I have read a million posts from members who complain they "get nothing but talk" in softcore. Well it is what it is... we are in softcore for the freedom it gives us. The decision is really simple: if you want action, just look in categories that provide action. If you try to find action in softcore, ask directly if the host you picked would do anything for you. That's really simple. What I honestly don't understand is what happened today. A viewer comes to my text chat to ask directly if I would strip in video. I really don't have a problem with stripping (it would be weird if I did after being an IA host for quite a while)... but apparently he expects a show from the moment he enters video and this is not what I moved to Glam for. Besides he was pretty rude in text too, so I decided to decline and suggested he sees IA or Not So Shy. He says he just wants to see a pretty girl, I am his choice and he doesn't mind chatting. I make it clear one more time that I won't strip. He comes to video, informs me he is naked already and asks me to take my shirt off. After I say no, he leaves. So WTF was that? ;)

Pussy Size Curious Guy Strikes Again!

2012-01-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

Dude I wish! If I understood English, I'd have a career!

Am I being proposed?

2012-01-28T22:12:00.001-08:00

Boobs Adequacy II

2012-01-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

The saga continues... I tried to change it back to 36B but when I update the page it automatically goes back to 35.8B. Ok I give up, they apparently know better.

I was trying to make a salute video for them to prove I am really me and not just some middle aged guy who lives in his parents' basement. They asked for two things: no background music and a piece of paper with the name of the site. Seems simple enough even for me huh? Do't get your hopes up. My first video got rejected because I was supposed to write my profile name on this paper too... and the same happened to my secod vid because I was supposed to read that aloud. It's becoming more and more fun, just like a "guess-what-else-we-want" game ;) I don't think I am ready for try N3 yet!

Boobs Adequacy

2012-01-26T09:58:00.000-08:00

So I was browsing my profiles today, adding some new stuff and checking out what I already have and I saw something really interesting. My bra size is 36B and one of the sites has changed it in my profile to (get ready!) 35.8B!!! My first natural reaction was WTF... then questions came... so I need your opinion ASAP! Does size matter? Does it still matter when it comes to 0.2 inches? HOW THE HELL DID THEY SPOT IT? And finally... do you think I am going to be fined for false advertising? ;) I am worried!

Winter Is Here...

2012-01-26T01:19:00.000-08:00

For Nails Lovers

2012-01-19T19:34:00.000-08:00

Everyone Loves a Freechat Slave!

2012-01-06T19:56:00.000-08:00

Oh things that people do to trick you into pleasuring them....

Winter Wonderland

2012-01-05T23:42:00.000-08:00

It's winter and I am back! Not that those two are related but still... I believe waiting for spring together is way more fun :) I am online during my regular hours, you are more than welcome to drop by and say hello.

Life Goes On....

2011-10-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

... and it's not so sad as that Poison song! Just thought I would thank everyone who stuck to me through those annoying problems I had with my cam (oh that VividCam sign grrrrrr) and let you know I bought a new one and this is amazing! Now that's what HD video should look like. Also I would like to remind you it's less that two weeks before I take quite a long break and if you were thinking about hanging out, that's about time! CC mail me :)

Just for a Smile...

2011-08-27T05:43:00.001-07:00

So... Are Hosts Really Human? ;)

2011-08-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

The Terrifying Truth About Sex Chat Lines -- powered by Cracked.com

Damn You Auto!

2011-08-24T10:10:00.001-07:00

Free Chat Treasures

2011-08-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

I don't normally do that... I think I don't have to explain why it is less than enjoyable. However sometimes I am bored and people can be really creative when it comes to trying to get a free show. And today is apparently my lucky day because I was offered a FREE BREASTS EXAMINATION by a CANCER DOCTOR!!! The only thing I had to do was showing my boobs to him for 5 mins... and at this very moment he's willing to check if I have vigina cancer too. Must be a multifunctional expert I assume ;)

No, seriously? :D

2011-08-17T21:22:00.001-07:00

Yay!

2011-08-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

I am not so boring after all! Thanks to everyone who voted, you've made my week guys!

Monday Blahblahblah ;)

2011-08-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

You have two cows

2011-08-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

ANARCHISM   You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
ANARCHISM   You have two cows. You steal your neighbor's bull and ignore the government.
ANARCHISM   You have two cows. You keep the cows and steal another one. You ignore the government.
ANARCHISM   You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHISM   You have two cows. Your neighbor hits you over the head with a brick, steals your cows, then shoots them for fun. You later discover that he is a Nazi.
ARISTOCRATISM   You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.
ARTIST -- VISUAL   You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.
AUSTRALIANISM   You have two cows. You take one to the beach and teach it to surf, then you bung the other one on the barbie, drink some VB, and laugh at the idea of a surfing cow. (from Hannah and Gen)
BAHRAINISM   You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to milk all the cows at the same time to cut back on unemployment.
BITCHISM   You're a cow!   (from Hannah and Gen))
BRITISH   You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.
BRITISH -- MAJOR   You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.
BUREAUCRACY   You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRACY   You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them.
BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION   You have two cows. The EU loses one cow, milks the other and then spills the milk.
BUREAUCRACY -- UNITED STATES   You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.
CANADIANISM   You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
CAPITALISM   You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN   You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.
CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG   You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
CENTRALISM   You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISM   You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.
CONSERVATIVISM   You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them..
COMMUNISM   You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
COMMUNISM   You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.
COMMUNISM   You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives you a little milk ... once.
COMMUNISM   You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN   You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN   You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE   You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE   You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE - MAO STYLE   You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN - CASTRO STYLE   Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder," works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN   You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN   You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE"   You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE"   You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.
COMMUNISM -- SOVIET   You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.
COMMUNISM -- SOVIET   You have two cows. You count them and realize you have four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
DARWINISM   You have two cows. They develop opposable thumbs and milk you. (from Patrick)
DEMOCRACY   You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY   You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.
DEMOCRACY   You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN   You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN (a republic)   You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances, including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section 4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and balances mentioned above.
DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH   You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE   You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
DICTATORSHIP   You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.
DRMISM   You have two cows. You sell both of them, but all the milk still belongs to you.
DUBAISM   You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years' time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.
EGYPTIANISM   You have two cows. Both are voting for Moooooobarak!
EUROPEAN UNIONISM   You have two goats. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
EUROPEAN UNIONISM   You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that "limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows." You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.
FASCISM   You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
FASCISM   You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.
FASCISM   You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
FEUDALISM   You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FRISBEETARIANISM   You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
IDEALISM   You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.
INDIANISM   You have two cows, that you revere. But they end up in Bangladesh as steaks. So you outlaw cattle exports, announce a cow-licensing system and issue cows with photo IDs. Unfortunately, many conclude that India can not stop this illegal moogration because "beef is very delicious."
INDUSTRIALISM   You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.
INNOVATIONISM   You have two cows. You patent "cow" and claim license fees from all the milk of the world. ("All your milk are belong to us.")
IRAQISM   The British Government sends in a herd of 20 cows in a trial run to help a village outside Basra. The villagers are extremely grateful for the extra milk and the health of the children improves daily. A terrorist group then kidnaps the cows and accuses them of being traitors to "the cause." The terrorists then produce signed confessions from the cows and systematically assassinates each one in front of Al Jazeera television cameras.
KUWAITISM   Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc.) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically killed in a massive pile-up while their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers..
LEBANONISM   You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.
LIBERALISM   You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERALISM   You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.
LIBERTARIANISM   You have two cows. You let them do what they want.
LIBERTARIANISM   Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
MARXISM/LENINISM   The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.
NAZISM   You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
NEW DEALISM   You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
OMANISM   You have three cows. They are all healthy and produce good quality milk for sale at the market. Unfortunately, your son discovers that the money he received at the market can be used to buy beer. Your grand expansion plans for a new high-tech farm are put on hold indefinitely.
PACIFISM   You have two cows. They stampede you.
PEROTISM   You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexico..
PLATONISM   You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.
PLATONISM   You have a reflection of two perfect cows. Their milk tastes like water. You look for two real cows to milk.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM   You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.
PROTECTIONISM   You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
QATARISM   You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
REGINA MAYERISM   You want a horse, but your parents say no. You do have a cow, so you train the cow to think she's a horse. (Storyhere and here.)
REDISTRIBUTIONISM   You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.
SAUDIISM   You have two cows. Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.
SIMPSONISM   Don't have a cow man!!
SOCIALISM   You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC   You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.
SOCIALISM -- PURE   You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
SOCRATIC METHODISM   How many cows do I have? Why?
SURREALISM   You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
SURREALISM   You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.
TALIBANISM   You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."
UNITED NATIONISM   You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
WIKIPEDIANISM   These cows are temporarily protected from milking. Please resolve disputes on the talk page. Protection is not intended to express support of German or Polish cows. (from Bill)
WIKIPEDIANISM   This cow is a heifer. You can help Wikipedia by milking it. (from Bill)
YEMENISM   You once had a cow. But then it got kidnapped.

My Day Has Just Been Made

2011-08-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

Жизнерадостно ржу. Повадился ко мне на Ливе в текст-чат ходить мем. Всегда приходит с кредитами на счету, но ни разу не был в видео - предпочитал ограничиваться стандартным набором из 198 вопросов, которые непременно нужно задать в текст-чате до привата. Клянусь, ходил два месяца как на работу, и, естественно, через какое-то время мне надоело это бесплатное анкетирование. Невзирая на полный игнор, продолжал ходить каждый день и просто сидеть в тексте. СЕГОДНЯ ОН ЗАШЕЛ В ПРИВАТ! За пять секунд нашего непродолжительного, но весьма оживленного общения он успел сказать "hi, big toys?" и убедившись в наличии отсутствия оных свалил. Мораль басни: как я уже много раз говорила, текст-чат - зло. И бесплатные 20 секунд - зло. И тойсы - зло.

Guys

2011-08-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

I've been readings dozens of post in the Community Forum on CC about categories... now how would you guys feel if we would categorize YOU? ;) I found that on another forum, edited it a little and thought it was too good not to share:

- The “I Just Want to Hold You and Kiss You You’re So Beautiful” Guy

- The “Treats You Like You’re a Computer Generated“Sex Bot” Guy

- The “I Wanna be Your Friend” Guy

- The “Let’s Meet for Real – Just Dinner, No Strings Attached” Guy

- The “Let’s Meet for Real and Fuck All Night” Guy

- The “I Don’t Pay for It” Guy

- The “I Have an 11 Inch Cock (but No Cam)” Guy

- The “I Thought You’d like Some Company While You Work” Guy

- The “Wants to Chat A Long While and Then for You to Seduce Him” Guy

- The “Newbie/Sheepish/Embarrassed He’s Doing This” Guy

- The “My Wife is Great But Won’t Fuck Me” Guy

- The “I’m Too Busy for a Real Girlfriend” Guy

- The “I’m SO Horny and Want to Get Off NOW” Guy

- The “I’ll Take You Private if You ________” Guy

- The “I Just Want to Get to Know You in Tex Chat Before I Take You Private” Guy

- The “I Am Thinking of a Pvt But I Want You to Convince Me I Should” Guy

- The “My Girlfriend Won’t ________” Guy

- The “My Account/CCard Isn’t Working So Can You Free Cyber with Me?” Guy

- The "I'm a Girl Too" Guy

- The "I Want You to Do Whatever Turns You On" Guy

- The "Make Cum Gush Out of Your Pussy" Guy

- The "Bigger, Faster, Harder, More!!" Guy

- The "Takes a Reeeallly Long Time to Cum (for whatever reason)" Guy

- The "I Turned My (Horrible, Grainy, Badly-Lit) Camera On So You Can Get Off Too" Guy

- The "I Just Turned My Top Ten Chathost Comparable Cam On My Award Winning Cock" Guy (WOW!)

- The "Your Price is Too High" Guy

- The "Would You Please (insert thing you won't do, i.e. anal, toys, phone, etc) for Me Please, Please (repeats request over and over)" Guy also known as the "Can't Take No for an Answer" Guy

- The "Sits in Tex Chat and Doesn't Say a Word" Guy (not to be confused with the uncountable number of chathosts who do this!!)

- The "I'm Thinking of Becoming a Host Too" Guy

- The "He Seems So Cute and Nice You Can't Believe He Needs to Be Here" Guy

- The "Guy Who Won't Tell You What He Wants You to Do and Expects You to Just Somehow Psychically 'Know'" Guy

and finally, my favorite.... drum roll.....

- The "Comes Into Vid, Asks for What He Wants, Expresses Appreciation, Leaves and Becomes a Repeat Viewer" Guy

Merry Stripes

2011-07-26T22:33:00.001-07:00

... it is warm enough without them but bright colours fit my summer mood so well! ;)

Gotta Love Autocorrection!

2011-07-22T05:15:00.001-07:00

The Top 15 DYAK Texts Of All Times (15 pics)

Thanks to the analytics, here are the 15 most viewed autocorrect fails sent in to Damn You Autocorrect since the site launch. Can you... more

Loopy Dave's Sexy Pin Up

2011-07-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

Sexy Ads

2011-07-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

How Come?!

2011-06-27T05:27:00.001-07:00

...Judging by thw amount of hosts online, there was a party somewhere that I wasn't invited to :D

Funny Sad True

2011-06-26T03:43:00.000-07:00

Borrowed from the beautiful redhead FoxyMaggie:

For Everyone Who Asked

2011-06-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

5 People You Meet At Metal Concert

2011-06-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

A friend just shared it with me and I found it pretty funny... hope you will too! The link to the sourse is under the article and my thanks to the author for sharing his thoghts!

There’s no scene in live music that quite compares to that of a heavy metal concert. The people you meet at a metal show are like no other music fans: they’re die-hard, socially awkward, hard-drinking, willing-to-lose-some-teeth-to-see-this-band kinds of people.

These guys (did I mention metal concert attendees are almost entirely dudes?) are intensely unique individuals. However, if you’ve been to a lot of metal shows, you start to recognize some patterns among members of the community. With every show you attend, the stereotypes you witness in the audience are reinforced in your mind, until you begin actively looking for certain characters at the show just to prove you are right.

Today, I’d like to present you with five of those individuals. These people can be found at nearly every single metal concert you will ever attend, without fail. You just have to look for them. They are The Five People You Meet at a Metal Show.

The "I’m Getting Too Old For This S--t" Guy

This guy has done his fair share of headbanging, to say the least. He’s usually about 20 years older than the average audience member at any given show. He’s been going to metal shows since you were in diapers. This guy’s faded denim vest has so many band patches that he’s started to put patches on his patches. He’s seen Iron Maiden SEVEN HUNDRED times, and can tell you the set list they played at each show. This seasoned veteran of the scene is not easily impressed, and thus he is usually found at the back of the crowd, coolly sipping a beer. He is sometimes found with a few buddies his age, but is more frequently alone - his friends gave up on the scene long ago, started listening to "adult contemporary" music and driving minivans. He looks out over the sea of kids with dyed black hair and skinny jeans with disgust, pining for the days of ripped, dirty denim and faded leather. He’s there to see the band, not update his Facebook and text his friends. He’s getting grumpier with every show he sees. He’s getting too old for this s--t.

The Girlfriend Who Has No Idea What She’s Gotten Herself Into

"Honey, how come you never ask me to come with you to one of those metal shows you’re always going to?" she asked. "You probably wouldn’t like it." he responded. "But I want to do things that you like!" she protested. Two weeks later, in the middle of the sweaty masses at a Slayer show, the girlfriend begins to regret initiating that fateful conversation. She wants to leave soon, and they haven’t even played "War Ensemble" yet. She’s wearing a blue flannel shirt, because that’s what she wore to the Pearl Jam concert four years ago and she fit in pretty well there, even though the music was a bit too heavy for her. She is now freaking the hell out.

When the first song started playing, she was trying to figure out a way to dance to it, and started kinda swaying around awkwardly, out of time with the music. Now she’s standing still, looking around at all the freakish specimens that surround her. She looks to her boyfriend for comfort, but he is entranced by the metal magic that is Slayer and isn’t aware of her suffering. However, she brought this on herself, so she feels guilty about wanting to leave. She’s gonna stick it out. Sometimes, she’ll start to realize that the band she’s seeing is awesome, and really get into it. If this happens, you’ll know that you’ve got yourself a keeper. This is rare. Do not expect this. More often than not, she’ll be texting her friends something along the lines of "I have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into."

The "Out of My Way, I’m Getting to the Front" Guy

This guy has been swilling beer in the way back of the crowd since the first opener took the stage. He’s been planning his move for quite some time now. The lights go down, the headliner takes the stage, and he snaps into action. He’s getting to the front, and he doesn’t care who stands in his way. With much pushing, shoving, and acts of contortion, this champion of rudeness forges forward, refusing to stop until he’s standing in the first row. Never mind that people showed up early to get a good spot on the floor, or there’s a person in a wheelchair in the way, this guy’s getting through, one way or another. The words "excuse me," "pardon me," and "sorry" are not in this man’s vocabulary. The "OMWIGTTF" guy is almost always totally silent as he violently makes his way through the crowd. If you spot one of these characters, don’t hesitate to extend your foot into his path. When he trips, simply move a few feet backwards. This will ensure you stay out of his reach, as he is incapable of moving in any direction but forwards. His condition, unfortunately, can be contagious. People have been killed when large amounts of OMWIGTTF guys create crowd surges. Don’t be this guy.

The Fat, Sweaty, Shirtless Guy in the Mosh Pit

Every mosh pit that has ever existed has featured a big fat sweaty guy who regrettably felt the need to remove his shirt. Moshing can be great fun - you get to run into people, do some good ol fashioned shoving, and release some of that pent up aggression. What’s not so fun is when you go to shove a guy, and your hand disappears into a fold of fat, sweaty flesh, which completely absorbs the push and does nothing to slow the momentum of the moistened mass that is hurtling towards you. Yeah. Everyone who’s ever been in a mosh pit has thought twice about being there after they’ve been flung up against the guy so covered in sweat you wonder if he just got out of a sauna. When your shirt becomes soiled by sweat other than your own, things start to get a little uncomfortable. Everyone silently wishes that this guy would at least just put his shirt back on, but they hope in vain. This guy thinks everyone in the pit is avoiding him because they’re scared of getting knocked down, when in reality, they’re grossed out by his glistening gut.

The "I’m Here to Get In a Fight" Guy

Some people go to shows with the intention of listening to some good music, having a few drinks, and having a good time. Not this guy. This guy paid sixty dollars in Ticketmaster service fees so he could get kicked out for fighting. This guy patrols the first few rows, looking for someone to give him a reason to swing at them. When someone accidentally bumps into him from behind, that’s all the provocation he needs to start brawlin’. He ignores that little part of his brain that’s telling him "please don’t do this again, they’ll just kick you out again and I’m really enjoying the music" and starts punching some faces. He lands about half a punch before security has picked him up and started to carry him towards the exit.

The truly funny part about this individual is that he never fails to be begging with security to put him down and let him stay as they drag him to the door, as if it never had occurred to him that fighting would get him kicked out. This provides wonderful entertainment for the more reasonable and courteous members of the audience, who get to watch a cretin get forcefully removed from the premises. It’s even more fun when the band gets involved. The frontman points out the fight to security, says "get that guy outta here," and everyone cheers for swift justice. You’d hope the guy would learn from the experience and never get into a fight at a show, but luckily for those of us that are fans of watching idiots make dumb decisions, the "I’m Here to Get In a Fight" guy is not a fast learner.

So there you have it, the five people you’ll see at any given metal show. Keep your eyes open the next time you’re at a concert, and see how many you can spot. Maybe you can even identify a few more frequently appearing characters in your local metal scene. If so, feel free to share them with this future "I’m Getting Too Old For This S--t" Guy in the comments. Keep it loud, keep it heavy, and keep supporting live music.

By Alex Larsen

What Can You Do With A Banana?

2011-06-19T07:52:00.001-07:00

...other than eat it of course! ;)

Bill Presing's Sexy Cards

2011-05-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

Summer-Green Mood

2011-05-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

Have a Great Weekend!

2011-05-05T07:36:00.001-07:00

Might Be a Good Idea ;)

2011-05-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

The Question of the Year

2011-04-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

WHERE R U FROM BB?

Seriously it is the only question that makes me go from "nice and friendly" to "absolutely pissed off" in 0,5 seconds. A very small persentage of guys just try to make a small talk but most people just don't seem to know what they want. Logically I can see several reasons why they ask.... they might be looking for a host from their own country because an accent is a turn off for them... or they hope the girl might agree to meet them in person.... or they are just bored and unlike me have way too much free time. There was that guy who was "where are you from"-ing me in text chat like a dozen times and left every time (without bothering to say bye of course) REGARDLESS of my answer. Europe, USA, Russia, Romania, SA.... nothing seemed to please him. My two very favourite moment to be asked that question are:
- a guy enters the room, says hi and asks WHERE R U FROM BB... in a second he wants to see your tits or ass. It always makes me confused... why did he ask? Is my location has anything to do with what my body looks like? "Oh that chick is from France... cool they have great tits... show bb"... OR "Oh crap she is Romanian, I'm outta here".
- in the middle of the show when the things are pretty hot already (especially when a host is doggy style with her ass to cam).... SO WHERE R U FROM BB? No comments... Extremely good timing to make a small talk if the girl can type with her butt.

I am totally cool when people are honest and express what they want. If they say "Hi I am looking for an american host because I don't like accents" I will never be upset about it... I will honestly say I prolly have an accent and recommend another girl. But however... 99% of guys hear the country and leave. Seriously people that's frickin rude. It is almost like you enter a store, ask if they have fresh bread, then turn your back to the person who answered you and leave without saying a word.

Another thing... at this point I technically can't use my mic. My comp freezes when I do so I need to figure this out first but right now I have a bunch of other things to take care of. Anyway, my point is that as soon as I understood I have problems with my mic, I removed the sound icon from my profiles. You will not believe it... if before that I was asked for sound maybe 2-3 times a month, now every other guy asks and gets upset about it. When I logged on this morning, I found a new review... "Amazingly beautiful but needs sound... 4 stars". That's incredibly cool... Dude... YOU need sound, not me. That makes no sense to me... he chooses a host that clearly states she dosn't provide what he wants and rates her 4 stars for that. It's like trying to buy pants in the grocery and then saying "Hey your store sucks" :D

Ok thanks for listening... I feel better already :)))

SunLight Tease!

2011-04-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

Just made a new little video... It is pretty short but I hope you will enjoy watching it as much as I did while filming! Check out my replays :)

Have a Sexy Easter!

2011-04-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

Fisrt BJ

2011-03-19T23:03:00.000-07:00

A guy enters a bar, goes straight to the counter and asks for a whiskey. He looks absolutely shocked and the bartender asks him what happened. The guy says:
- You know I've just had my first blowjob.
- But this is amazing! Maybe you want some champagne to celebrate?

The guy squinches:
- Noooo champagne won't make me forget that terrible taste! ;)

:D

2011-02-22T00:11:00.000-08:00

My first one star review for being honest... A guy suggested I shove the tip of my hookah pipe into my pu$$y and I called him an idiot. Seriously though, I didn't want to offend him. It was not an insult, it was a medical assessment of his intellectual endowments :D

International Contraception Day (don't forget to congratulate any scumbags you might know))

2011-02-20T11:29:00.000-08:00

A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms.

Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, "What are these things daddy?"
His dad said, "Condoms son."

The boy asked, "Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?"

The dad replied, "The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night.
The ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
And the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March...."

I Feel Romantic!

2011-02-14T02:59:00.000-08:00

Don't you? ;)

I Feel So Romantic ;)

2010-12-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

Joys of Sex

2010-12-07T07:28:00.001-08:00

Which One Would You Suck? ;)

2010-10-07T23:36:00.001-07:00

Sexy Nurse!

2010-10-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a while :)
Jst wanted to let everyone know that I've made a new hot video and it's available in my Cambabes Store and in my pre-recorded sessions on CamContacts. I know you are going to love it!

CC. Connecting People.

2010-10-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

I am truly glad people like that are able to find each other... and leave the rest of us alone.

An Affair

2010-09-11T21:09:00.001-07:00

Thank you Fenix! ;)

EPASS

2010-09-09T09:26:00.001-07:00

First, I would like to say a big THANK YOU to those of my regular viewers who offered me help while Epass is being suspended by Visa... You are amazing people and true friends, thank you guys!

Then... I know that the situation is annoying but... since practically nothing can be done... let's at least have a look at the funny side of what is going on:

How To Drive Your Wife Crazy

2010-08-29T01:14:00.001-07:00

Start asking her questions (don’t mistakenly do anything) about cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Say, “I think it’s time I learn to take care of myself. You know, just in case.”
Volunteer to cook for her. Make sure it’s real greasy. Use every pot and pan in the house and be sure you spill and/or drop some of everything everywhere.
While brushing your teeth, flick the toothbrush first at the sink and then at the mirror.
Never ask her to get you something from the kitchen when she’s in the kitchen. Let her spend a good 30 minutes in there and when she reaches the sofa with a sigh of relief say, “Will you PLEASE do me a big favor and get me a beer, my back is just killing me today".
Be sure to load up all your pockets with tissues before you drop them in the clothes hamper.
Leave yourself a trail of clothing, towels, dishes, and everything else you put your hands on. This will ensure you never lose your way.
Wait until she’s overwhelmed with work (Weekly Opportunity) lean in close and say, “Did you see how dusty the leaves on your house plants are?”
Put on a TV program and them pretend to keep falling asleep. Wake up each time she tries to change the channel and say, “Quit it, you know how much I looked forward to watching this. Don’t be so selfish.”
Wait until she is totally engrossed in a movie then tell her something is bugging you and you really need to talk about it. Be sure it’s as stupid, boring, and long winded as you can make it.
Wait until she’s finally lost a few pounds on that diet. Start having uncontrollable urges for her favorite sin foods. (Most effective between 8-10 PM) When she repeatedly declines, stick it in her face anyway and say, “Oh, stop it! A little ________ isn’t going to hurt you.” Continue until all weight is regained. Then ask, “Hey, you’ve been on that diet a long time now, how much have you lost?”
Keep calling her at work to find out what time she plans to get home and what she plans to make for dinner. Make sure your just not in the mood for whatever she’s making.
When the opportunity arises be sure to cut the grass in your brand new white sneakers.
When you retrieve your clothes from the closet leave the hanger in place and pull on the clothing until the hanger is mangled enough to allow the article to slip off.
Tell her something for the first time and act shocked that she didn’t know about it. Pout and exclaim, “And you have the nerve to say I never listen to YOU.”
When you know she’s grocery shopping, disappear! Come home just in time to watch her carry the last bag in. Grab the receipt and say, “I’ll get the rest of it for you dear.” Feign suprise when she says that’s it. End with, “This is all you got for how much?”
On the odd occasion you actually clean up a disgusting mess you made, use the best towels in the house.
As your stomach grows just wear your pants lower and flop it over the waistband.
Than brag that unlike your wife, you still wear the same size you did when you got married.
Wait until the night before you go on vacation and say, “Hon, you know the underwear and socks you packed for me? Well the elastic is shot and I need new ones.”
Always leave the shower head at just the right angle to hit her in the face with that jet of cold water when she turns it on.
When doing filthy jobs around the house be sure to wear your good clothes.
Harass her into telling people a story and proceed to interrupt every other sentence with , No that’s not what..
Whenever something is ready to break make sure your wife is the next to use it. When it breaks, look at her and say, “What the hell did you do. I never had a problem with it.”
Whenever the dog, cat, or the kids are being cute they’re yours. When they need something, they’re hers.

A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream @ CamContacts!

2010-07-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

"If music be the food of love, play on", Shakespeare wrote.

If you ever studied the famous poet and playwright, you know that not only was he a romantic writer but he was sexy too... all those "O's" are there for a reason! It's time to learn some lines of love (or start Googling Shakespeare) for our Midsummer Night's Wet Dream event and this timeyou could be a winner every day!

Exclusively at CamContacts

From Wednesday, 28 July (00:00 GMT)through Sunday, 1 August (24:00 GMT)

We've got it all... forest fairies, Athenian goddesses, young lovers, virgins and even one ass-headed man. You don't want to miss this!

TWILIGHT. ECLIPSE.

2010-07-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

Ok I finally saw it... If you didn't, it's not like you lost much. To me, those two guys who always do "the right thing" are even more miraculous than vampires and werewolves... anyway, the movie is perfect for teen girls! The funny thing is that right before the beginning there were like 5-6 people in the movie theater... some entered when the film began... including that lady with two kids (interesting, I was sure that children under at least 14 were not allowed)... the girl was about 9 year old and the boy was not older than 2 or 3. They were sitting next to me. Anyway, that little girl informed me she had read all Stephanie Meyer's books and watched the movie pretty quiet... but the poor boy was definitely suffering... he was asking his mom "Is it going to be over soon?" like every 5 minutes. I was not annoyed though because I had the same question...

Videos

2010-07-07T09:59:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that some of my CC playback vids are now available at CamBabes. If you are interested in buying one of them, don't forget to refer to my screen name AndreaCherry while making a purchase... here are some snapshots of what I have in my store for now:

Back!

2010-07-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

... and I must say it was an amazing trip despite those damn ninjas that stole a memory card with almost all my pictures! I guess I will have to go to Sweden again ;)

Famous Last Words

2010-06-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

Noo these windows are ok to lean on.

Don’t worry it has airbags.

Hey what’s that buzzing noise?

Don’t worry its not that deep.

Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can pass this guy.

My brakes are fine.

Nice doggy.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

Hey, you're Eminem, aren't you?

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Pull the pin and count to what?

I wonder where the mother bear is?

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

He's probably just hibernating.

I'll get a world record for this.

Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Rat poison only kills rats.

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I've done this before.

Don't be so superstitious.

Hey, watch this...

Oh look it's a sting ray! (australian accent)

Look! No hands!

Hello, is anyone home?

Oops.

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

I'm sure this isn't the poisonous kind.

Of course it's safe!

Wait, I thought he was with you!

Don't move, you'll trip the sensors.

So, you're sure this isn't loaded?

Calm down, of course I disarmed it!

C'mon! This CAN'T be the self-destruct button. If it was, they wouldn't leave it lying around like this where anyone could push it!

Don't worry, they'll never find us in here!

There's only one way to find out...

Stupid safety labels...

No, no, these are safe, I've seen birds eat them all the time.

Speaking of lost, where are we?
What? Everyone knows the Titanic is unsinkable.

No, no, no, let me fix it!

So long suckers!

I CAN FLY!

Yes, the barrel of your shotgun is very clean.

What’s in this dark cave ?

I can't believe no one has ever thought of this before

I swear I shut the door when I left.

Lightning never hits the same spot twice.

No, silly, that's a dolphin fin!

What’s that red dot on your forehead?

The Hollywood Newspaper

2010-06-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

It has been noticed that over the years Hollywood film-makers have been using the same newspaper that was published with the purpose to avoid mentioning time or place or advertising a particular newspaper... just have a look:

Sometimes I Wonder...

2010-06-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

There's that joke that personally I like a lot...

A middle-aged man comes home from work early and catches his wife in bed with her young lover. Seeing the husband, the guy jumps up, grabs his pants and rushes out without saying a word. The wife stays in bed embarrassed... Her husband sits next to her and says: "These boys have no manners nowadays... No "hello" to me, no "thank you" to you, no "bye" to us both"...

So I am wondering... you, guys, who watch a show, obviously enjoy what you see and then leave without saying "ty bye"... do you really save a lot of money?

The Man of the House

2010-06-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be the Man of Your House". He stormed to his wife in the Kitchen. "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this House and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?
The wife replied, "The fuckin' funeral director would be my guess."

LOL of the Day

2010-06-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

Like I say, I am somewhat of a bullsh!tter myself but it is always nice to listen to an expert... I had an amazing convo on Yahoo today.

So... what does it mean? I am offered to send a copy of my ID proving my age to someone I don't know but who claims to be a representative of an LA studio... that just don't happen to have a site. Then I am supposed to contact another person on Yahoo, get a mysterious code and perform a show that is going to be paid "in 15 mins"... by a customer who registered with the studio and paid them in person.

The only thing that worries me here is... do I really look that dumb?

Sexy Mermaids!

2010-06-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

Yes I know CamContacts sirens and mermaids are gorgeous... but guys need love too! :D

KICK-ASS!!!

2010-04-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

BEST MOVIE OF THIS YEAR SO FAR! Choose your superhero! )

EL GOUNA

2010-04-12T05:44:00.000-07:00

They say that El Gouna is not the Egypt you knew and it is true. It was so… European. It is a place I could see myself living in. Wonderful beaches, perfectly clean water, endless summer and people who have changed my silly ideas of the Egyptians forever. I will be back for sure. So, some things that impressed me the most:

Our travel agent who managed to get us to a wrong hotel. As we found out later, there are two hotels in Khurghada and El Gouna with exactly the same names. What was really funny is that the reception guy still checked us in even though he didn’t find our names in the booking lists. When we discovered it was not where we were supposed to stay they said they would fix the problem in 5 minutes.

5 Egyptian minutes: be informed that those last 30-120 minutes :P

The Red Sea: I would never think that water in a harbor can be absolutely clear. Seriously, I could see fish swimming close to boats.

People: over 90% of the El Gouna population are Christian, they have their own churches there. Most Orthodox have little cross tattooed on their arms. I won’t go into details but people are incredibly nice.

Water pipes: I think I am addicted :D

Fresh juice: about 2$ (or for free if you are a beautiful girl :)

Well I can go on forever… have a look for yourself!

Vacations!

2010-03-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to remind you guys that soon after my birthday I am leaving for vacations. Come see me this weekend or Monday night if you want to wish me a nice trip (or just wait til I get back with awesome tan)!

THE MOST TERRIBLE MOVIE I HAVE SEEN THIS YEAR

2010-03-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know it is stupid but I spent 2/3 of the time covering my eyes with my hands...

PORN!

2010-03-10T20:58:00.001-08:00

RAMMMMMMMMMSTEIN!

2010-02-28T04:40:00.000-08:00

Like usual, great performance and an amazing fire show (seriously, a couple of times I thought that those who were closer to the stage were going to have their hair burnt!)... Awesome concert! And THIS particular song made my whole week! I only found censored version now but if you take the time to look for the uncensored one, you won't regret it. Something about it makes me think that these guys must be regular viewers on webcam sites ;) (especially taking into consideration that another song from their new album is promoted on VISIT-X)...

OneGreatDiva

2010-02-17T00:13:00.000-08:00

Another CC model I have been lucky to become friends with! Now isn't she gorgeous?

MEOW!

2010-02-11T07:06:00.000-08:00

LEGION

2010-02-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

Well I watched it yesterday... nice action movie (even though the story is BS). Still it was not so bad if you have to kill a couple of hours, and the old lady running on the ceiling freaked me out )))

However I must admit I found the whole idea that no one loves people rather upsetting. God does not love people in this movie (and I can't blame him). The Archangel Gabriel doesn't love people (he's like: "Kill all people? Ok, I'm in. Kill the baby? Ok, show me where the baby is"). Michael the Archangel doesn't love people (the guy who plays him is kinda hot but - oh well - he doesn't have a face of a man who is able to love anyone). He loves God though and protects people for his love to God. And Devil does not give a damn for anyone at all :D

COMMERCIALS WORLD

2010-02-01T11:45:00.000-08:00

Prague, I will be back!

2010-01-08T16:17:00.001-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

2009-12-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I can't believe this year is almost over. Hopefully the next one is going to be even happier for all of us. I feel truly blessed. I won't talk much, I just want to wish all of you a Merry X-mas and a Happy New Year and to let you know I am happy to know you. Be good guys (well you know what I mean by "good")!

On Wednesday I am leaving to Prague and I won't be back til the end of December, so tonight it is your last chance to see me this year, I will be on CC starting from 3 am GMT (10 pm ET)... probably drunk already ))))

Enjoy my little Christmas gift while I am away and don't miss me too much - I will be back soon enouth.

If you want to make me happy when I am back, you know what to do - click here to buy me a gift.

Kisses,

-A

Sent By My Friend

2009-12-17T07:38:00.000-08:00

Some guys are ready to pay 99 billion dollars to a model if she strips. In free chat.

cdog69:want to strip off pvt to get paid $99 billion for each person watchin u bbTo cdog69 : ohhh so much money!!!
cdog69:well u could use it to get a car that u want and a house
cdog69:what ever u want to bb
To cdog69 : so let's go to my private video and u will decide if I do good strip
cdog69:y go pvt when u'll get more money out of pvt bb
cdog69:i'll give u more if u like
To cdog69 : u dont have money now for pvt?
cdog69:i dont hav money on my acc
To cdog69 : what a pity(
cdog69:cause then i can send u asmuch money as u like for free bb
To cdog69 : heheh and for it i have to dance stip in free chat?
cdog69:yes bb
To cdog69 : do i look like a stupid girl?)))
cdog69:but i dont lie
cdog69:i just dont hav any on the my acc right now bb
To cdog69: beggers never lie, I know it very well
cdog69:bitch!

I am starting to think that a bitch to some people is a woman whose intelligence is a little above average. Pretty soon I will smile, blush and say "thank you" when I hear it :D

THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING SEX

2009-12-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

My Personal 30:

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Can you please pass me the remote control?
4. Do you accept Visa?
5. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
6. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
7. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
8. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
9. I want a baby!
10. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
11. When is this supposed to feel good?
12. You're good enough to do this for a living!
13. Is that blood on the headboard?
14. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
15. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...
16. Oh get off me I will do it myself.
17. I have a confession...
18. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a sheep home!
19. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?
20. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
21. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
22. This is your first time… right? (Yeah… today).
23. You are almost as good as my ex!
24. Oh my friends were right, you are GOOD!
25. Do I have to pay for this?
26. What’s your name again?
27. It’s nice to be in bed with someone I don’t have to inflate.
28. Hold still my porn mag keeps falling off your back.
29. Are you sure you have never been a man?
30. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.

SOCIAL NETWORKS: PEOPLE WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?

2009-12-01T11:35:00.000-08:00

WARNING! OVER-B*TCHY CONTENT!

I am having a PMS and doing you all a big favor staying offline. Also, it’s a good thing because I finally have time for house work and my social life (both real life and networking)… which brings me right to the question

SOCIAL NETWORKS
PEOPLE WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?
I love meeting new people. I really do. However some things always make me wonder… Maybe you will help me understand why:

-Some guys leave “hi hru do you have Yahoo/MSN” messages.
I sure do but what do you need it for if all I have inspired you to say is six…. oh no wait, seven words? Do you really think such a message makes me burn with desire to talk to you? Sorry, no.
- People send “hi how r u – gd ty n u ” messages.
Of course brevity is the soul of wit. Do you have a limited number of letters you can use a day? It looks like you do. I can understand when people try to use abbreviations in paid chats because time is money (note: I understand it doesn’t mean I like it). However if you don’t bother to type even simple words (wait you know how to spell them, don’t you?) what makes you think I would reply?
-Guys post topless pics as their main profile image.
Topless guys… I can talk about them forever. Sometimes I just lay here and think. Aren’t they cold? Can they afford a shirt? Ok I’d better stop now or I will end up crying again. To make it short: if you have a nice body – bragging is no good. Take your shirt off at home or on the beach. If you have thin arms and a beer belly (I haven’t seen any beer biceps yet) – just don’t do it, ok?
-People take mirror shots.
RTFM! You know, cameras have timers, you don’t even need a mirror, isn’t it cool?
-People post naked pictures.
Guys who post below the waist nudes whether the site’s rules allow it or not. None of my business actually, if you have fun and people on your friend list enjoy it, go ahead. But if you send pics to my mailbox…. Dear I have seen penises before. Even if you just found out you have one too and can’t wait to share your joy and pride with me, no thank you. Keep it in your pants and give people an occasional grin to make them envy.
-People send messages like that: “Hi how are you, I would like to know you better. What is your name? How old are you? What do you do?...”Probably if you read my profile you will know everything you just asked, so why don’t you give it a try? By the way in my profile I always point out that my name is written next to my picture and it’s not Sexy, Baby or Honey.
-Guys send looooooong messages with lots of eloquent compliments and metaphors.
Yes I know what you think (something like “Oh my what a b*tch, she doesn’t like it short, she doesn’t like it long, is she ever pleased at all”). I might lack self-confidence or abound with sarcasm but when I open my mailbox and see a message that consists of five or more paragraphs, the first thing that comes to my mind is that the guy has probably spent a day writing it and now abuses the copy-paste function. My funniest experience was with the producer of a little-known European metal band who was sending the same message to all girls he could reach on MySpace. Very stupid but… man, this letter was a masterpiece!
-Guys pretend to be girls.
We sisters have to stick together right? Show me your pussy and I'll show you mine..... NOT ©
-Guys say LOL after every other word.
When someone is laughing all the time, it can mean two things: you are a very happy person (which is good) or you need to have you head checked (which is not).

I cannot understand that. I guess this is why I am so happy when I receive a message from someone who is able to introduce themselves, show interest in a polite way and tell me about themselves a little (which happens once every other couple of months).
LOL :P

NB

2009-11-30T16:53:00.000-08:00

When I see a certain category of members in my free text chat I am very tempted to press “IGNORE” even before they say hello and I will explain why. Talking to them is a sure way to put me out of humor and I don’t like it. People who come to see me in videochat deserve to see me happy. Usually the ones I talk about come to CC from partner sites and they do not plan to buy credits. Well technically they might but I am afraid I am not that young to wait for it to happen. Mostly they are here for three things: try to get a host “talk dirty” in a text chat, ask for her IM addy hoping for a free show or “just chat” (aka “I Just Thought You Like Some Company While You Work”). My regulars know that I am a social person and I love talking. At the same time, my CC category is Instant Action. It means that when you are in videochat and ask me for a show, I won’t stall. I will do what you ask because I respect your time and your money. So… why don’t they respect my time (= my money) in text chat? Usually when I stop talking because I have a viewer, ask them to go to vid for a dirty talk or tell them my Yahoo addy is for my friends only, I enjoy the following:
- you are a whore (Surprise!);
- you only want my money (I didn’t know you can offer something else);
- I knew it was a money scam (just to make sure we are on the same page: SCAM - a fraudulent or deceptive act or operation. I work for an adult paysite and do shows for money, what is fraudulent about it?);
So let’s make a deal. I am polite and I don’t ask you to go to videochat every other minute. You don’t waste my time when you don’t want a show. Everyone’s happy!

Kisses,
-A

For WoW and CC Fans :P

2009-11-26T17:21:00.000-08:00

My Cherries

2009-11-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

Something new for my collection :) Those smell delicious too!

Perfect Keyboard For A Camsite

2009-11-20T18:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that some webcam sites give them out for free to everyone who registered. TY to a certain someome for sharing this with me!

CamContacts Surprise Party!

2009-11-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

So.... this is CamContact's 9th Birthday Party and I can't wait!

I have been on there for a few months but this is the first contest I am going to take part in and (which is more important) the first time I have the honor to be selected one of the CC cover girls! You have no idea how proud and excited I am!

I hope you will like the pictures I took for the party and that my friends will come see me during the contest..... in case you didn't receive the CC mail about the party, here is what it's all about:

Exclusively at CamContacts from Wednesday, 18 November (00:00 GMT)through Sunday, 22 November (24:00 GMT)

For every $5 that you spend in Video Session,both you and the host will receive a random piece of a "Surprise Party" puzzle.Both Viewers and Chathosts can complete a puzzle on their own,or join forces and finish one puzzle together.
The first 10 completed "Surprise Party" puzzles will bring winners $2,000.The next 10, and then 20, completed puzzles will win $1,000 and $500, respectively.If the puzzle is completed by two people then the prize is divided equally between them.

:-))

2009-11-10T06:47:00.000-08:00

My stalker is back. This time he suggest he returns the money he stole. Cool, I love the idea. How come some people have absolutely no shame?

New Pictures

2009-11-06T05:33:00.000-08:00

Isn't she gorgeous? Another set with my beautiful red haired playmate!

My First Girl-Girl Shoot.... with amazing Cassandra!

2009-10-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

2009-10-23T07:41:00.001-07:00

I Love People!

2009-10-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

Cool! I am going to try it in the supermarket next time. "Now try to convince me to pay for the food because I am sexy!" ))

New Pics

2009-10-17T06:56:00.001-07:00

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A NAKED GUY

2009-10-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my friend the other day about things one shouldn't better say after/before/during sex and then I rememebered I had this list. Hope it wil make you smile:

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Ever heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

LOVE SONG

2009-10-13T02:18:00.000-07:00

New Pics

2009-10-11T11:53:00.001-07:00

FREE CHAT

2009-10-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

One of the most primitive beggars’ tactics in free chat is called a conditional private. I will take you pvt, if you show me your tits/shake you ass/ take panties off/ sing the state anthem/ eat a hamster whatever. Usually I automatically ignore a user who is trying that on me but sometimes I am bored.

BEGGAR: show me ur boobs and i will go prvt bb
ANDREA: ok
ANDREA: do you promise?
BEGGAR: yes
ANDREA: honest?
BEGGAR: yes bb i sware
ANDREA: you misspelled the word swear
ANDREA: you must be lying
BEGGAR: no
ANDREA: ok
BEGGAR: im am being honest bb
ANDREA: then type it again
GUEST: lol if your are not gramatically correct she will show nothing
BEGGAR: i swear
ANDREA: 2 more times
GUEST: lool
BEGGAR: sware
ANDREA: wrong again
ANDREA: i knew you lied
BEGGAR: come on bb i aint lyong i promise
ANDREA: then spell it right
GUEST: lol this room will be fun just to hang out in a just watch the show lol
BEGGAR: lying
ANDREA: 3 times
BEGGAR: swear
BEGGAR: swear
BEGGAR: saware
GUEST: roffffffffffffffffffl
ANDREA: justinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
ANDREA: concentrate
ANDREA: you made it wrong again
GUEST: lol proper grammar is important in here lol
BEGGAR: i swair
GUEST: lol i have one question
GUEST: how many times u think lol
ANDREA: yep
ANDREA: no boobs
ANDREA: sorry

Sadly Justin left. It took him for about 5 minutes. My personal record is still 21 minutes, I will keep going! :D

:-)

2009-10-04T07:15:00.000-07:00

I just found out the reason why my cam image was so dark regardless of the settings. As usual, it was PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair). The cam was set to nightshot mode, I just needed to turn it off - and yay, I am all bright and happy again. Anyway is was not that bad was it? :P

NEW PICTURES!

2009-10-03T07:56:00.001-07:00

New Webpage!

2009-09-30T10:13:00.001-07:00